Learning to "feel" our emotions....

One thing that I know that seems to be a big difference between my younger years and now is how I handle my emotions. I use emotions interchangeably as our feelings. To me, they are the same. Our emotions cause us to feel. I used to try to pacify my emotions with food, wine, or shopping. Now, I would say I did not know how to process my emotions.

So, what exactly are emotions? Emotions are multidimensional experiences that involve subjective feelings, cognitive processes, physiological responses, and observable behaviors. In other words, emotions involve our thoughts, how we feel about our experiences in our lives, and how they make us feel, which we describe as feelings. They are vibrations that run through us. Sometimes we are not even aware of them and definitely don’t know how to process them. I know it is something that I had to learn and has helped me tremendously in all areas of my life. I am much less reactive. Do I still have to watch my emotions? Absolutely. I am always checking in with myself to see how I am feeling and what is causing these feelings. My goal in this post is to help you identify and become aware of your own emotions. It really is a huge help with our food choices, communication skills (relationships), controlling negative thoughts, and most important, our overall wellbeing. How is this? Well, let’s say that you become angry at someone; if we can sit there and think about why we are angry and let run through our body, the anger might pass. We need to do this before we respond. Then we can decide how we want to respond and if we want to respond. When we don’t process the anger, there is a chance to overreact and say things we will regret OR we could just head to the kitchen to grab some chips thinking this will make us feel better. The second is the most common. We tend to eat our emotions. When we are sad, we think ice cream will fix it. It does make us feel better, for the time it takes us to eat the bowl. We use food to “buffer” how we feel. Then, we are back feeling sad. Instead, we can process the feeling of sadness by sitting there and try to feel it. I try to describe how I am feeling to myself, how it feels in my body, and ask myself why I am feeling this way. Sounds corny, but it works. I know, if I am deeply hurt by someone, I hurt near my throat. When I am angry, I feel tension in my shoulders. When I am sad, I feel weird in my stomach. I have practiced feeling my feelings.

Did you know that 80% of us emotionally eat? Yes, because we want to either make it go away or we want to feel even better. So, if we can learn to feel the emotion in our body and let it pass without trying to make it go away by “buffering” with food, will be healthier. What are common emotions? Happiness, Sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, contempt, and excitement. Yep, they can all cause us to look for something to “buffer” these emotions. Here are some tools that I was taught to help with my emotions and managing how I felt.

• Self-Awareness (what I call a “check in”):

“Check in” Regularly: Take time to reflect on your emotions, identifying what you're feeling and why. Regular self-awareness builds awareness of your emotional state. Check in and describe it to yourself.

• Emotional Regulation:

Deep Breathing: When faced with intense emotions, practice deep breathing exercises. This simple technique helps regulate how we are feeling and promotes a sense of calm. I do this regularly. When I find myself in traffic, I start doing breathing exercises. Oh my, this is so calming.

Hope you will practice feeling your feelings!