Committing to Something New for a NEW Year...Instead of Restriction-Let's Add Gentle and Realistic Goals!

I must admit that I fall into the trap of wanting to have a NEW YEARS resolution every year- not sure why but I do. I did change the fact that I don’t have to begin on New Years Day. I simply wait when I am ready. I have found this works much better for me. I also have changed my tone of how I implement these so called resolutions due to the fact that I notice the same pattern—well-meaning resolutions wrapped in the language of restriction and loss. Lift weights, lose weight, cut this out, and so on. What if living better and aging well didn’t require more discipline or deprivation? What if it could be personal, gentle, and realistic—designed to support your body and general well being instead of fighting it?

When I realized that there was not a one-size-fits-all in wellness, things started to shift with me. I never stuck to anything that was “gentle”. Let me give you an example. Over 25 years ago, when I was a store manager for Dillard’s, I would eat lunch out of a candy jar. Yes, bite size snickers, starbursts, and vending machine pretzels where my go to. I washed these down with diet cokes to make it even worse. I drove home one New Year’s eve and asked myself what can I give up (that is how my brain worked) for my resolution? I choose candy. During that first year, I tailored the resolution to what I referred to as store bought. I could eat a piece of a dark elegant truffle or a piece of Godiva caramel but not anything that I considered as mass made candy. It worked. The good new is-to this day, I can have any “mass” candy around and I won’t touch. The bad news is I didn’t realize why this worked until I started learning about mindset and habit work. I soon understood that because I tailored it around my wants and needs and it felt doable, I was able to convince my brain that this was good. Now, I have certain guidelines that I use to set a new resolution or a simply goal. I also make sure I run it through SMART guidelines.

Specific, Measurable, Achievable (or Attainable/Actionable), Relevant (or Realistic/Resourced), and Time-bound (or Timely/Time-limited). Once I have done this, I then make mental notes of what could get into the way. I then work out solutions so my brain won’t derail me. Yes, that is what it does. It will give me every excuse if I let it.

It doesn't 100% work all the time. I have committed before and it has fallen off the rails. But, I have stuck to many others.

So, this year, I am choosing to read more ( 25 books for the year) which I am aiming to two a month. Notice the word aiming- Some months might be 3 and some might be zero. Enroll in two training classes of some kind. Thinking about them now. And, honoring to my morning routine (yoga-stretching) and treadmill.

I like to feel like my resolutions are doable but still feel a little uncomfortable. If its to comfortable, it probably is too easy.

Now, find something that works for you. I had someone yesterday tell me she is committed to cooking 3 times a week. I asked her how many times does she cook now and she said 1 or 2 times. I think that is doable. Let's go!

Happy New Year!