Is Happiness an Inside Job? Do My Genes Matter?

What does it mean to be truly happy? Psychology tells us that happiness isn’t about fleeting moments of pleasure or the absence of struggle—it’s a deep, sustained sense of well-being and fulfillment. I chose this topic after I read the book in my book club, The Mountain is You, and was fascinated with how most would describe what true happiness is and it seems that the word contentment comes up. It makes sense. If we have contempment in our live, we feel satisfied. I looked up the definition of contempment and it say; a state of happiness and satisfaction. Bingo, I think we have just confirmed a good definition. However, I still wanted to know more, so I did a little homework and this is what I found;

Happiness is an Inside Job

We often remind that external factors—money, status, even relationships—don’t create true happiness. Studies show that our circumstances account for only about 10% of our overall happiness, while nearly 50% is determined by our mindset and daily habits (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, & Schkade, 2005). Another study, suggests that about 50% of our happiness is determined by our genes. This comes from the work of psychologists like Sonja Lyubomirsky, who broke it down like this:

50% genetic set point – This is your natural baseline for happiness, like your emotional default.
10% life circumstances – Things like income, health, appearance, or where you live.
40% intentional activities – Your thoughts, behaviors, habits, and how you choose to respond to life.

So even though genetics play a significant role, what’s exciting is that 40% is within your control.

Let that sink in. We have a lot of control of our own happeniss. I don’t agree that it is that clear and is much more muddied (such as child trauma, relationship trauma, and other emotional situations) but it is clear that we have control and material things don’t give us lasting happiness. Instead of chasing happiness outside of ourselves, we can cultivate it from within by shifting our thoughts, practicing gratitude, and reframing old thoughts.

I like to have my clients a list out what brings them joy. Many of them will say their grandchildren, children, or friends. I have to remind them of things such as a great book, music, bird watching, and even a short walk. I think that is because we get so caught up in our to do lists that we forget to stop and smell the roses. What brings you joy? List it out and make it a point to add to your daily activities. Sometimes if I want a boost in my mood, I will go fix my hair, put on an outfit a like, and put on a little perfume. This is for simply for me and me alone. I have found that my appearance has an effect on my mood. When I look my best, I often feel my best. This might not be you but try it. Sometimes all it takes is washing your face, applying a moisturizer, and combing your hair. Magic.

Meaning Over Pleasure

Psychologist Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, describes happiness as more than just momentary pleasure—it’s about engagement and meaning. A life filled with purpose, where we contribute to something greater than ourselves, leads to more profound and enduring happiness than the pursuit of temporary highs. I feel as this is where we get confused. A hit of dopamine that last a few minutes is not happiness. When we buy a new pair of shoes or eat our favorite ice cream cone, we feel happy for a moment. Again, most of the psychology field describe happiness as what we might consider as simple contempment. What are you passionate about? Gardening, volunteering at your church, and or building a business. Find you passion and remember it is never too late. I don’t care if you are 68 years old and want to change careers or go back to school. Just do it.

Connection is the Key

Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness (The Harvard Study of Adult Development) found that the strongest predictor of happiness isn’t wealth, fame, or success—it’s relationships. Deep, meaningful connections with others improve mental health, increase life satisfaction, and even extend our lifespan. Connecting with others is medicine to our soul.

Small Daily Habits Matter

Neuroscience shows that happiness isn’t a destination but a practice. Simple daily habits—mindfulness, gratitude, acts of kindness, and movement—rewire the brain for greater well-being. By focusing on these small, intentional actions, we can shift our baseline happiness over time. We are never going to get to the place of happiness- again, it’s not a destination but a practice. Yes, call you mom, friend, and other peeps that you care about and stay connected.

Final Thought: You Can Build Your Own Happiness

True happiness isn’t about avoiding pain or achieving perfection. It’s about embracing life as it is, finding meaning in our experiences, and choosing thoughts and actions that nourish our well-being. The good news? You don’t have to wait for happiness—it’s something you can cultivate every day.

My first bloomed rose brings a smile to my face...she is all alone and enjoying the weather!

What’s one small thing you can do today to invite more happiness into your life?

💛