Do you have a constant complainer in your life?

Have you noticed that one of your peeps is a constant complainer? They seem to complain about everything? The glass is half empty for them all the time. Other than all the writing and reading, I have been enjoying psychology. I was looking up a topic and stumbled on an article in psychology today. How interesting. I then wanted to know more. Yes, there is usually a complainer in our friendship groups, are families, and or at work. We probably have all been around the “constant complainer”. Unfortunately, we might do exactly everything that we should not do! I was kind of disappointed at myself when I realized I had sneered at people before. Yep, Louis, my family members, and probably a few back when in retail. Sneering is not good. I am still upset at myself! I will expand later. Anyway, lets get back to the “constant complainer”. I wanted to discuss this because if they are in our tribe, we want to help them no hurt them. Here we go, this is what we can do:

Don’t hate on the inside

Meaning do nothing but sit and think to yourself how much you are sick of the constant complaining. This just puts out hate or uncaring attitude. Do not sneer or roll your eyes. Don’t laugh, we have all rolled our eyes (maybe on the inside) and started complaining to ourselves of “here we go again”. Sneering is harmful. According to Psychology Today, there has been research that a contemptuous sneer can be the single most dangerous human facial expression that one can make. Research shows that when pictures of someone sneering was shown to individuals, their blood pressure and body temperature was affected. They also found that their immune system would start to breakdown. I am going to do my best to cut this crap out. No more “the eyes” LOL. It is said that raising your eyebrows is much better. I laughed. I am going to start practicing the new eyebrow raising method. In other words, sneering is harmful and hateful and not helping the situation. So, don’t hate on the inside.

Listen intentionally and help

Most often, the constant complainer feels that no one cares or is listening. A child throws a tantrum when they do not get their way, or when they feel frustrated. Well, they say we never outgrow this. The only reason a person would keep complaining is because they feel they were not heard the first time. What can we do? The best advice is to offer a few solutions. This will let them know you are listening and fully engage in the conversation. You hear them. And, follow through. We are talking about people we care about.

Write it down!

I really liked this advice. So simple but powerful. Write down their complaints. Read over to them and then give them suggested solutions. Read back to them their complaints and ask what they think can be done. This is such a great way to let them know you are listening and caring. We cannot fix peoples problems, but everyone wants to be heard. I love this.

Turn the table a little

Now that you have the complaints written down from the constant complainer, ask them which one is most important in fixing? Have them come up with ideas on what can be done. Then, ask them for a commitment on when they can start addressing what they have control over. The power is given back to them. They hopefully can realize they do have some control over issues.

Most importantly, we all want to be heard. Active listening is powerful.

Don't sneer anymore! You know what I mean....that "look".

Give more positive vibes. Everyone can use it.

Have a wonderful day! ❤🌻🌸💕