Choose Happy!

Most of us strive to be happy. Of course, we cannot be happy 100% of the time. Some say that life is 50/50. That sounds a little scary but when you think about realistically, it does make sense. There are times when we should not be happy for instance a sick child, a dying friend, or an unforeseen divorce. There are times when we feel sad as we should be sad. However, just in day to day living, we all want to be happy. I know I have talked about this before, but you know when I read an article, I always want to share! What makes some of us naturally happier than others? I consider myself a happy person most of the time. There are many opinions out there.

Being in a personality class, has made me read and study different personalities and I do believe that it is both in our genes and our environment that makes up our personality, which can affect our happiness. I have shared with you in a previous post that different personality types keep people from being happy. The good news is that all of us can do things in our lives that can make us generally happier. According to Dr. David Myers, author of Pursuit of Happiness, identified in his research, what he considered eight concrete characteristics of happy people. I found these very logical.

· Happy people like themselves. They see themselves as emotionally and physically healthy. They believe they are more ethical and intelligent. They believe they are less prejudiced and better able to get along with people.

I believe this whole heartedly. I think people that treat people badly must not like themselves.

· Happy people feel a sense of personal control. They feel empowered. Because of that, they tend do better at work and school and cope better with stress.

Oh, how I know this. When you feel you have no control, it can ware you down. This is not saying that we would be happier if we did only what we wanted to do, but in general, feel like we can make decisions on things that are best for us and do not affect others. I am fortunate to have a partner in life who lets me do my thing! If I want to go run in the park, not cook dinner, or go to bed at eight, he is fine. Yes, I am very fortunate, and know it.

· Happy people are optimistic. They expect good things to happen. They feel upbeat. The glass is half full. They try to make sense of events in an optimistic and positive way.

Louis is somewhat of a glass half empty kind of guy! I have told him this many times. He will inform me that he is a cautious person and does not get caught up in the emotions of things 🤦‍♀️. This makes sense. He calls himself a “realist”. I will admit, this use to cause us some problems, but I have learned that we balance each other. I am always seeing the glass as half full. Fortunately, for our finances, it has paid off. I am the stock investor (yes, believe it or not. I use stocks as my little gambling habit and love it) and he lets me. He is not a risk taker. He is the money manager as far as anything else goes.

· Happy people are extroverted. We do not know if happiness makes people more extroverted or if extroversion causes happiness, but statistically, they correlate.

Louis, my husband is somewhat an introvert. He does not care to be in large groups. However, I have noticed that when we are, he finds someone or a small group, (usually by the food) and stays put. I laugh when we get home from a function, he will tell me things about people that I had no idea. He enjoys being the listener (while eating his cake or meatballs) lol. I do not think it makes him unhappy but more comfortable.

· Happy people have close relationships. That shows up most obviously in surveys, which tell us that married people are usually happier than unmarried people. But it’s not a question of marriage; close, trusting relationships of any kind tend to help people be happy more readily than they would be without. Totally agree with this one. Having friends and family to talk helps us in stressful situations.

· Happy people have a spiritual foundation. Spirituality is a belief system that focuses on intangible elements that add meaning and vitality to life’s experiences. Whether that is a belief in God, a dedicated prayer life or communing with nature doesn’t matter. Studies show highly spiritual people are twice as happy as people who are not.

This was a good one. If you are a spiritual person, studies show that you are twice as happy as a non-spiritual person. I can believe this.

· Happy people tend to have balanced lives. The time in their lives dedicated to work, play and spirituality is sufficient for each. They make time for reflection and relaxation.

In my own life, I find this most important. I am happiest when I am in balance. I used to feel I had no control of my time and would get so frustrated. I am busier now than ever, but I feel like I have control on things that are important to me. In my past, If I need to go to a funeral, or wedding, I would get anxiety just thinking about it. I did not get to make these important decisions. I would say this was a huge downer and caused me to be unhappy more often than I needed to be.

· Happy people are creative. They look at problems from as many viewpoints as possible and find creative ways of handling those problems. They follow sparks of interest. They don’t let life become sedentary. They keep producing new ideas and learning new things.

This has really been good for me! I love to try new recipes, new activities, and taking another class! Keep engaged in learning brings so much joy.

In general, these eight characteristics are not surprising at all. Like I said very logical. But, as I have mentioned before, there are times when we might just feel a little down for no apparent reason. What are some things that bring joy to us when we just need a little lift? Go outdoors and watch the birds, watch the sunrise or sunset, call a dear friend you have not heard from a while ( I know I love it when I get a call from a friend), eat a piece of chocolate slowly, make yourself a cup of coffee and sit by a window and relax, go outside and pull a few weeds (don’t laugh, this makes us feel good), listen to music while cooking, make a new recipe for dinner, find ways to bring a little joy into your life!