Aging well past 50 and still improving your self esteem....

I was just finishing a chapter in my Personality class and briefly looked at the up coming chapter. It read: Chapter 5 Identity and Self-Esteem. I thought for a moment, what does all that mean? If I don’t know my identity by now, I could be in trouble LOL. How about my Self-Esteem? I have always thought well of my-self, most of the time. I am aware of my downfalls and know most of my strengths. I think I am okay with it all. I decided to look up what is self-esteem and how we can gauge it. If you already know all this, skip down below and find out why I was interested. Here is what I found according to SocialPro article I read.

People with good self-esteem take a positive view of their traits and qualities. Having good self-esteem isn’t the same thing as being arrogant. It’s about accepting and liking who you are, flaws and all. Okay, that is basically what I thought. I am fully aware of my flaws and all. So, then I learned how to identify if you have low self-esteem:

Sensitivity to criticism: If your self-esteem is fragile, any form of criticism, even if it’s delivered in a calm and respectful way, can feel like a threat.

Feeling inferior to other people: It’s difficult to feel good about yourself if you’re convinced that everyone is “better” than you. Just thoughts. Most always it our thoughts that get us into trouble.

Acting superior: It sounds counterintuitive, but some people who feel bad about themselves compensate for their feelings by acting superior. Not smart.

Focusing on your flaws: If you spend a lot of time thinking about the things that are “wrong” with you, you may have low self-esteem. I definitely try not to focus on the flaws…

Difficulty accepting compliments: If you feel bad about yourself, compliments might make you very uncomfortable because they clash with the way you see yourself.

Negative self-talk: For example, you might tell yourself, “I’m stupid,” “I’m ugly,” or “No one likes me.”

Putting your achievements down to good luck: Instead of taking credit for your hard work or ability.

Tolerating bad treatment from others: If you have low self-esteem, you might find it hard to believe that you are worthy of healthy relationships.

Now, if we have reason to believe that one of these is hurting your self-esteem, here are some ways to improve!

Discover what matters to you: Getting in touch with your inner values, goals, and aspirations can improve your self-esteem. Don’t worry about keeping up with the Jones’.

Don’t rely on positive affirmations: The research on positive affirmations is mixed. According to one study, affirmations can work for people who already have high self-esteem, but they make you feel worse if you have low self-esteem.

Monitor your self-talk: The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant effect on our self-esteem. If you beat yourself up for making mistakes or being less than perfect, you’ll find it hard to feel good about yourself.

Change your perspective: When you are facing a stressful situation, try talking to yourself in the third person and try to understand the full scope before reacting. Research shows that this technique can reduce anxiety. I talk to myself often. I do believe it helps. 10 second rule, calm, before action.

Set yourself meaningful goals: Setting goals can help you make positive changes, which in turn can improve your self-esteem. (I got one for you below).

Tackle your problems head-on: Overcoming life’s challenges can boost your self-esteem because it’s proof that you have the power to change your life. This is my favorite. Again, I want to share my story below.

Work on improving your body image: Research has shown a link between poor body image and low self-esteem. This is a big one. Either we need to do something about our body or learn to love it. It is destructive to beat our self-up for not being a “BARBIE” as my friend would say.

Try not to compare yourself to others: Comparing yourself to people you admire isn’t always a bad thing. Comparing yourself to someone you admire can make you envious, but in some cases, this has an advantage: it can motivate you to make positive changes.

Do something that scares you: Taking risks can make you feel better about yourself. I love this one too. I believe this.

Practice controlling your stress levels: There is a two-way relationship between stress and self-esteem. Low self-esteem is linked to stress, and stress can lower your self-esteem.

Build healthy relationships: Spending time with people who put you down or make you feel unsupported can reduce your self-esteem.

Let go of your mistakes: Making mistakes can reduce your self-esteem. If you make a mistake that has serious consequences, it can be hard to feel good about yourself again.

Become more assertive: Learning how to be assertive can improve your self-esteem. Assertiveness is a set of skills that helps you stand up for your rights while respecting the rights of other people.

It is funny how we think we know what self esteem is and how much we have. I learned quite fast this past Fall just how much it can change! I found out last year, that I had to re-take college algebra. I had decided to pursue a degree in Psychology and thought it should be somewhat easy since I have enjoyed all the classes and did okay. However, once I learned that to take the required Statistics, I had to re-take my college algebra, my enthusiasm plummeted. I was a little worried. I remembered that I struggled many years ago and knew this would be a major challenge. I also knew that I had to get a C or better. I was extremely worried.

Parker, my youngest son, is getting his PhD in mathematics, and my husband is a civil engineer and they both loved math🤷‍♂️so I had added pressure on me. Preston, my older son, is pretty good at math as well. Did I mention, not me? My daughter-in-law, who has a degree in Chemistry, picked up my book, looked over it, and said “oh the quadratic equation”, and rattled it off. I was mortified! I had no problems in HOME ECONOMICS (yes, there was such a thing) but this was math! I ordered an Algebra book for Dummies and begin to work on.

I worked my rear off in that class. I studied day and night. I had Louis help me on the homework, which I did extremely well (with his help) and managed to pass the mid-term exam. I had done all the extra credit assignments, and even enjoyed all my classmates. Yes, I took this class in person. I will never forget; the final was on December 9. I was scared. I wanted to do well enough to make a C in the class. There was so much that I was unsure about. I remember sitting outside the classroom, praying, and giving myself a pep talk. I walked in, took the exam, visited with everyone saying their goodbyes, and thanked the professor for cheering me on. I called Louis on my walking through the campus and said, I have no idea how I did. When I got home, I knew within hour, I would know the results. I pulled it up, and it said I had made an 84 on the exam. I was shocked. That was my best test grade. I ended up with a B for the class. I was so relieved and filled with pride! It sounds so ridiculous, but I was elated.

I cannot tell you how much this one class has taught me. Face your fears. It is a great way to overcome our insecurities and improve our self-esteem! I am still on a high🤣🤣.

Now, with all that being said, what can be something on the horizon that would make you feel good? I always seem to have such a sense of pride when I make homemade bread or bake a great dessert. It does not have to be a six-month class😂! It is unbelievable how simple things make us feel great about ourselves. Today, is the best day to improve your self-esteem!

Thank you all for reading. Hope you have a wonderful day!