Who can I blame? …..

Have you ever known someone who never accepts responsibility for their actions? Have you ever blamed others for your misfortunes? Have you ever not done the work but wanted the glory? I am sure all of us have at one time or another, had regrets on something we wished we would have put more effort into. I know that I wished when I was younger, I would have chosen piano instead of dance. I did not practice at any of my hobbies. My sister was not impressed with music and did not practice her piano lessons, so mother did not even offer me to take lessons. It would not have matter. I probably would not have practiced. I was too busy socializing. Yes, I chose socializing in high school and in college. My GPA reflects my hours of dedication😜. I used to blame my grades on having to work while in college but deep down I knew that I could have spent more time studying even while working. It was just easier to blame something or someone else. If I had one major regret, it would have been to learn how to love learning as I do now. Anyway, not to get off the subject, not taking responsibility is a pet peeve of mine or most importantly is placing blame. Really? What does it matter? It does not fix anything.

While things do happen that might not be our fault, it does not help the situation by blaming others. Those who chose victimhood or have a victim mentality have probably had something tragic happened to them and they had no experience or knowledge on how to cope. These individuals find a way to deal with the tragic event by blaming someone or by thinking that others are out to get them. I read an article a while back and was fascinated on how these individuals could change their lives if they would accept what has happened and find ways to cope. According to an article in verywell mind magazine, a person with a victim mentality holds three beliefs:

· Bad things have happened in the past and will continue to happen to them.

· Others are to blame for their misfortune.

· There is no point in trying to make a change because it will not work.

For these people who hold this victim mentality, it seems like sinking into negativity is easier than trying to save themselves. Many times these individuals tend to force this mindset onto other people. A victim blames others for their current situation, even when others have nothing to do with it and they themselves are to blame or at least partly to blame.

The article gives some attitudes to watch for:

· Feeling overly pessimistic about their future

· Feelings of repressed anger

· Feeling as though they are entitled to sympathy from others

· Feeling defensive no matter what other people say

· Feeling as though there is no point in looking for solutions

· Seeing people as black and white or good and bad

· Being unwilling to take risks

· Exaggerating the risks of situations or how bad they could turn out

· Putting themselves down all the time

· A feeling of learned helplessness

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-victim-mentality-5120615

So, why did I want to talk about this? I remembered a book that Preston had given me, The Power of TED by David Emerald’s. At the time, he was working with a leadership company, and they had the team read certain books and this was one of them. The book explains the victim mentality and it also points out that people can be enabling these victim-hood individuals. The book defines a triangle, the victim mentality role, the persecutor role (supposedly caused the victim’s woes), and the third role, the enabler. I was very impressed with the book. Many times, parents are enabling their children because they try to fix their problems. The book explains this cycle (or a triangle) that keeps everyone in a mess. Emerald calls this the Drama Triangle. The book is a story about a man who placed blame on everything and how he learns, changes, and grows. It is an easy read. You can probably pick it up anywhere and cheap if used.

https://www.amazon.com/POWER-TED-EMPOWERMENT-DYNAMIC-Anniversary/dp/0996871802

I know that many of you watch the news and wonder how do these individuals put themselves in such a bad situation? I, too wonder. How do people not take responsibility for their own actions? Most importantly, why do people not want to improve? Do they not understand? I am not sure. I just want all of us to be better humans today, than yesterday. That is my purpose of the blog. I want to age into perfection. Never ever going to be perfect but let’s shoot for it! Remember, it is like a great bottle of Cabernet😍. Aging well.

On a softer note, make yourself a nice cup of coffee and don't worry about these victim-hood individuals😂😂. I have this recipe that I make for Louis. He will ask me to make it because he enjoys the sauce. I tell him it is because of the salt! Oh well, if it is in moderation, go for it. I call it Party Chicken. Not sure why, but I do. It has dried beef and some of you might not know what it is. It is very salty and my mother used in in a white gravy and poured over biscuits. She called it creamed dried beef gravy.

8 Chicken breast

8 strips of bacon

1 jar of dried beef. (on the aisle by canned meats. That in itself sounds scary)

1 can of cream of chicken Campbell’s soup

1 cup of sour cream

Preheat the oven to 300°. Lay slices of dried beef on bottom of 9x13 baking dish. Wrap a slice of bacon around the chicken breast and lay on top of beef. Once all chicken is wrapped, mix up sour cream and soup and pour over chicken. Bake for 3 hours. Yes, I have raised the temperature to 325° and cooked in two hours, and it is still good. Serve with steamed white rice. This can be pre-made and placed in refrigerator until time to bake. Easy and most everyone will enjoy.

Don't forget to sign up on my website so I can start sending you recipes when I get caught up! Sounds crazy. I am not working and have never been so busy😁😁😁