Fighting with my "toddler" brain

I have told you many times how my (toddler) brain offers me choices that are not what is planned. Any excuse to eat the cake, not get on the treadmill, or how about have another glass of wine. Wow, it is amazing at how many excuses that my brain offers me to just be lazy and eat the bon bons because of “life”. I have had a lot of “brain drama” this week and have practiced trying to keep my prefrontal cortex or as I like to say my “adult brain” in charge. When life happens, this is when I have to pay close attention to that primal little toddler brain of mine in check!

Two weeks ago, my husband, Louis had an appendectomy and during the CT scan they found a large mass next to his kidney. Needless to say, there was lots of fear coming up for both of us. We met with several doctors and all agreed that it was cancer and it needed to be removed. It was the opinion of three separate urologists and they all wanted to remove the mass and the kidney. When asked about doing a biopsy, they all said they have found it is best not to disturb. Luckily for us, the mass had not spread. So, he will have another surgery next week to remove both. He is feeling good, and they said he is in great health and living with one kidney will be fine.

During all this time, my brain has been offering me all kinds of outlets to feel better. It is almost funny. For instance, during the appendectomy stay, I went to Starbucks to get a coffee while Louis was in recovery. While there, my toddler brain (primal) said I should get the vanilla scone. I deserved it. I had been so stressed out. I needed it. Sometimes it is almost comical. I am happy to say, I did not. Almost, but found it in me that I was going on a cruise soon and would want dessert each night so a better wait. There was the other night, my toddler brain said “I deserved more wine, just go ahead and pour me another glass of wine. Or, even better, I don’t need to get on the treadmill because Louis needs the rest and the treadmill is above our bedroom and is a little loud. Really? The treadmill has been there for well over 15 years and I have always used it while he is asleep. Oh my, I am seeing my toddler brain offer up so many excuses just to sit and be. Unfortunately, it has won a couple times. Yesterday, I did not do my morning yoga because I did not have my phone. I had left it at my in-laws and was picking it up that morning. I could have easily used my IPAD but my toddler brain told me that it was probably not charged. I said you are right, it probably is not, never checking. Oh well, I got up this morning, on a Saturday and said I need to do yoga (knowing I only do it Monday through Friday) because I skipped yesterday. I put my adult brain back in charge. The yoga is only for a 5-minute session so not sure why my toddler brain said my IPAD was not charged enough. I told you it can be comical. This weekend, we will be watching lots of basketball games during the final four. I am sure my toddler brain is going to offer me up so many not so good snack choices. I am going to sit with curiosity and see how this primal brain is going to milk “Louis’ scare”. Yes, offer me up so many reasons that I deserve to eat the bon bons or the nachos!

Have a beautiful day.